My family and I, feeling the Christmas spirit intensely one year, decided to visit a nearby senior living home on Christmas day. We brought along the family dog because she was a gentle soul who loved people.
All was going well, our visit was nearing an end, and we were ready to make our way home. As we were gathering our things to leave, a young woman approached us to help in her dilemma. It seems she had signed up to sing Christmas carols at a few Senior Centers but none of the other carolers had shown up. Uh oh.
At this point I must tell you that we are not singers. We don’t karaoke—and we try to blend in when it’s time to sing Happy Birthday. So this was going to be painful.
But hey, it was Christmas! Time to be selfless and giving. We were suckers for that.
The first stop was as expected. Polite audience, thankful for a bit of distraction. The carols were traditional and we were comfortable with the familiar words and melodies. But we were poor backup singers for the young lady. Luckily she was pretty and had a nice voice so she was the star of the show. All was well as we continued the rounds.
Our last stop was a nursing home. The residents were in various stages of care, some in wheelchairs, some standing in the hall with their walkers, or slowly taking a seat along the wall to listen. The staff were all smiles, grateful for the holiday cheer and a break in their day.
Many in our audience were joyous, some solemn. Some were adorned with jolly Santa hats or garlands of tinsel. But one lady in particular stood out. She took this opportunity to exercise her vocals. As we sang the sweet familiar tunes, she shouted a stream of creative expletives!
🎶“We wish you a Merry Christmas”🎶…”YOU MOTHERF___ERS!”
We looked at the nurses in surprise yet they seemed nonplussed. The other residents were unfazed. She must be known for this.
🎶God rest you🎶 …”SONS OF B___ES!”
🎶Let nothing you dismay🎶… “F___YOU!“
So there we were, a band of discordant carolers and a patient but weary dog, surrounded by a beaming bevy of old folks. Except for the one curmudgeon in a Santa hat, its white cotton ball bouncing over her forehead to the staccato beat as she spat forth her profane version of ‘F__YOU Jingle Bells’. I’m sure she meant Merry Christmas 🙂
You can’t make this stuff up folks.